Resolutions.
As the various firearms go off at 12a NYE in my shady SF neighborhood, Some resolutions for the new year, as it pertains to Vegas.
2013 was a year of obsession for me, obsession with taking Vegas trips. I went to the Strip four times in '13. April, June, October, December. I went alone, every time. I saved up $12K just as Vegas spending money last year, and spent another $1K on flights to/from. This constitutes nearly a quarter, a QUARTER, of what I make in a year. Something dawned on me in the days since I've been back this time.
It's gotta stop.
It may be obvious to anyone reading this blog, but it finally cracked into my head since I came back that the reason I am going to Vegas so damn much is that I'm fucking unhappy with my life here. I'm in a dead end job. I have no friends to speak of. I have no family contact anymore outside of a 2-3 monthly phone call w/my mother. I'm in one of the best cities in the world with great culture and opportunities, yet I go out to the same bars, seldom go to shows, have never been to any of the museums or historic neighborhoods or seen many of the world-class sights. I've been living here for 6 FUCKING YEARS yet this is still the case.
I have to start living a life here, in the place I've chosen to live, that I'm proud to say I'm from, instead of putting my whole energy and resources into what totals out to be 2 weeks a year in Vegas.
I love Vegas. I'm not saying I'll never go again, but I have to get a fucking life here that has nothing to do with the idealized fairy land that Vegas has become in my head. I'm 44 years old. I'm not a lonely person, but it's also not normal for anyone to say their best friends are bartenders. They're not friends. They are people who act like they like you so that they will make more money from you. It's also not normal to hardly ever use 4G data on your mobile devices because you go from WiFi at home to WiFi at work and rarely ever anywhere else...literally.
I'm also not saying I want to be "normal", whatever the fuck that is. I'm always going to be a bit of a loner, that has always been the case and it doesn't bother me, but for fuck's sake, it won't kill me to take some of that money I would be saving for Vegas and go out one or two nights a week for coffee or a drink or a fucking scone or something and just enjoy this great city I'm in. Or to take some of that money and paint this hobbit-hole that I live in or get some new carpet or maybe a functioning TV so I could maybe not be too embarrassed to bring someone over here once in a while.
Vegas is still going to be there. I'm always going to be a Vegas guy. But from now on maybe it'll be one blow-out trip per year, or, Jeebus forbid, maybe the next trip can be somewhere ELSE. A cruise, or a road trip. Shit, maybe the road trip can even end IN Vegas, just see and do some other part of the damn country first.
(edit) Or maybe I'll just book another trip for March. Fuck.
2013 was a year of obsession for me, obsession with taking Vegas trips. I went to the Strip four times in '13. April, June, October, December. I went alone, every time. I saved up $12K just as Vegas spending money last year, and spent another $1K on flights to/from. This constitutes nearly a quarter, a QUARTER, of what I make in a year. Something dawned on me in the days since I've been back this time.
It's gotta stop.
It may be obvious to anyone reading this blog, but it finally cracked into my head since I came back that the reason I am going to Vegas so damn much is that I'm fucking unhappy with my life here. I'm in a dead end job. I have no friends to speak of. I have no family contact anymore outside of a 2-3 monthly phone call w/my mother. I'm in one of the best cities in the world with great culture and opportunities, yet I go out to the same bars, seldom go to shows, have never been to any of the museums or historic neighborhoods or seen many of the world-class sights. I've been living here for 6 FUCKING YEARS yet this is still the case.
I have to start living a life here, in the place I've chosen to live, that I'm proud to say I'm from, instead of putting my whole energy and resources into what totals out to be 2 weeks a year in Vegas.
I love Vegas. I'm not saying I'll never go again, but I have to get a fucking life here that has nothing to do with the idealized fairy land that Vegas has become in my head. I'm 44 years old. I'm not a lonely person, but it's also not normal for anyone to say their best friends are bartenders. They're not friends. They are people who act like they like you so that they will make more money from you. It's also not normal to hardly ever use 4G data on your mobile devices because you go from WiFi at home to WiFi at work and rarely ever anywhere else...literally.
I'm also not saying I want to be "normal", whatever the fuck that is. I'm always going to be a bit of a loner, that has always been the case and it doesn't bother me, but for fuck's sake, it won't kill me to take some of that money I would be saving for Vegas and go out one or two nights a week for coffee or a drink or a fucking scone or something and just enjoy this great city I'm in. Or to take some of that money and paint this hobbit-hole that I live in or get some new carpet or maybe a functioning TV so I could maybe not be too embarrassed to bring someone over here once in a while.
Vegas is still going to be there. I'm always going to be a Vegas guy. But from now on maybe it'll be one blow-out trip per year, or, Jeebus forbid, maybe the next trip can be somewhere ELSE. A cruise, or a road trip. Shit, maybe the road trip can even end IN Vegas, just see and do some other part of the damn country first.
(edit) Or maybe I'll just book another trip for March. Fuck.
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