Why Slots.

I've already established in this blog that I'm an amazingly selfish person. I'm self absorbed, self centered and don't play well with others. This has translated to other aspects of my life as well; I've gravitated to solo sports like tennis and golf as opposed to team sports, and at work I tend to find a way to be isolated as much as possible. If I do well or badly at something I want it to be all on me either way.

But I still do, for some unknown reason, want to be liked, at least on some level, by other people. As this pertains to gambling, I think I gravitate toward slots because it strikes me that nobody likes a winner on table games. If you're a good poker or blackjack or baccarat player and you're winning a majority of hands, the other players on or around the table, unless they are family or close friends, may feign happiness for you but in reality secretly hate you and wish you would be eaten by rabid yaks. Look at the best poker players in the world. They are almost always portrayed in the media as selfish, anti-social pricks, and they may well be right. You may respect a good player's skill, but you seldom like them. It's you against the world, and if you win the casino is by no means happy about your good fortune.

Slots, on the other hand, require almost no skill and the odds are inherently against you, no matter how much or little you spend or play. A 21 year-old's first spin on quarters has about as much statistical chance of hitting as does the grizzled old veteran who's been sitting in front of $5 machines for 50 years. Thus there's a sort of communal happiness when you finally DO hit something. The people at machines around you all crane their necks and usually seem genuinely happy for you if you beat the robot beast...it gives them hope that their machine might be next. And the casinos love you...they know that the odds of big slots wins are not skill based and still are grossly in the casino's favor. They all want to take your picture and put you on a billboard because "look at how loose our slots are, come here and give us all your money trying to chase the nearly impossible you sad sappy fuck!"

You don't see guys who get over on table games on billboards. The casinos all secretly think anyone with a lucky run on tables is cheating or somehow gaming the system. $5 blackjack for uncle Wilbur and Aunt Marge? Sure, have at it. $25 hands of poker in the Bellagio poker room? No, that's like an arcane science that only the Illuminati can play which is why you're subtly discouraged from partaking by having the rooms segregated and having it organized into "tournaments" with a waiting list. Too much trouble for the plebeians.

But I'm fine with being a plebeian in Vegas. I'm not a "gambler", the only time I gamble is when I'm there, unless you count buying 2 or 3 lottery tickets a year gambling. I do it for fun, and if I'm having no luck or it stops being fun I walk away and get another drink at the bar. I go to town with a gambling budget and I have no trouble stopping when I'm getting my ass handed to me by the slots (which is nearly always). I almost always spend less than I budgeted myself at the start of the trip gambling-wise.

In the 3 years I've been going to Vegas I can count the substantial hits I've had on slots on one hand, and that's fine. Because I know, statistically, there's very little chance I'm going to leave town with more than I came in with.

But there IS a chance.