Post Mortem 12/2014.
Well, that was...interesting.
Can't call that one a good trip by any means, but it will be one that I remember, at least parts of it. Other parts I don't remember at all.
First night, flew in on plan, taxi'd over to Flamingo to check in. Got in/out of check in and up to my room in no time. Flamingo's "Deluxe" rooms are no Bellagio (nor even a NYNY) but it was relatively clean, modern (faux wood floors and all) and definitely a step up from the awful Harrah's room from last trip. Good center Strip view and oh, yeah, free.
Came down and hit some of the normal spots, Henry and Bond at the Cosmo, Rock House at Venetian then decided to check out the Bourbon Room in Venetian. Kinda cheesy, light crowd, 80's videos on a huge screen. Contrived. Was just going to have one there and mosey, but these two girls sit down on either side of me. Can immediately tell I'm being worked since the one in front of me is looking back at her friend behind me every 30 seconds. A tight crew this was not. But the one in front was reasonably hot (eh) and I was reasonably drunk so after a while I asked the "eh" hot one if she wanted a drink. So we start talking and decide to get out of there, and as soon as she gets up her chubby handler shows up and invites herself along. Red flag #2.
We all start walking down toward the Cosmo where they want to go and for some idiot reason I decide to invite them up to the room for a minute. I really didn't even think I was going to get laid and I was aware I was being worked so why I did this is beyond me. Anyway nothing really happens upstairs (so I think) and we come down and start off toward the Cosmo again which was the original plan. The "eh" hot one keeps acting "cold" and sticking her hands down my front pockets (in retrospect looking for loose bills) so idiot me offers her my jacket. I like this jacket.
So now the inevitable and obvious happens. They say they need to pee so we duck into some random resort, they go in to pee, I go in to pee, I come out of the bathroom, they don't. They are gone. With my jacket. And that's not all. I finish out the night thinking, OK, whatever, they got my $50 jacket, could have been worse, blah blah. I'm walking around the Strip in a light sweater in 40 degree temps but I have a beer blanket on so it doesn't really bother me. Get back to the room 4-ish and crash out.
I wake up the next morning in a haze and check my phone. Emails and calls from Capitol One. Are these charges legit? Is this $1400 charge legit? This one at Wal Mart? This one for gas? All over Vegas?
Yep, bitches got my credit card that was in my backpack that was in my bathroom that was in my Flamingo room.
In the end, all the charges will be reversed, I'll get a new card, all it cost me was some inconvenience (and a jacket. I liked that jacket) but man, was I molded the rest of that morning. Total bummer, crap start to a trip. So in a haze of anger and booze I make my way down to the Ross store to buy another goddamn jacket, and as it's a Ross the jacket is not what I had before and not nearly as warm. Gambled a bit at Monte Carlo with no luck.
Off then to check in to Mandalay. Get into the Gold Mlife line, breeze through, I'm happy to put the last night behind me and get a shower and start over. Then when I get up to me room the key doesn't work. No beep, nothing. So back down the elevator, back to the Gold line, get a different room (no upgrade for the inconvenience) and BACK up the elevator to the room that a key actually works in. The MB rooms are nice in a sort of generic way, not the best room I've had in Vegas but very solid. Well appointed, comfortable, easy to get in and out of. GREAT view of the entire Strip.
Probably should have taken a nap at this point but instead just jump in the shower and come down to check out the new Franklin bar at Delano. I'm the only guy in there. For hours. Just me and the personable bartender. Was fine, half the battle for me in a bar is having a personable, attentive bartender so it was worth the time. Then at 5p it was up to MiX to cash in my myVegas free appetizer and take in the view. Meh appetizer, awesome view.
Then did the usual making my way up to Cosmo and Bellagio, stopping at The Pub at MC to kill another myVegas reward, 2-1 beer flights. Was getting pretty well hammered by this point. Got to Lily bar at Bellagio too late so just closed out the night at the Vesper bar at Cosmo tying on more vodka and getting wrecked. Got back to the room late, destroyed and bruised, after falling down on the slippery sidewalk in a light rain. Fuck.
Xmas day, rolled over to MGM to go to TAP and had their excellent turkey sando. Tried to go back to the room to get a nap but couldn't really sleep, didn't leave the room til about 4p (after taking a bath, lovely) and hit up Franklin one more time then it was off to Stripsteak at MB. Sat at the bar, had a filet which was good but not mind-blowing. Service was pretty bad. Side of gourmet mac & cheese was really good. Everyone raves about the free duck fat fries here, they are...fries. Then slowly made my way up to Cosmopolitan again (surprise!) and spent the rest of the night drinking heavily. Spent time at Bond and Book and Stage, finished up at Vesper again then made my way back to my room, gambling all the way, and did really well. From the time I left Cosmo to the time I stumbled in to bed I had won at least $550 along the way. Had been getting my ass handed to me up to that point so that was nice.
Woke up the next morning fuzzy but determined to get up to see the new SLS on the far north end of the strip. Limped into MGM to grab lunch at PUB 1842, Never again. Annoying server and the fish and chips were tasteless. How do you fuck up fish and chips? Afterwards jumped on the Vegas monorail, really a pretty great system that I had never used before. Hits most of the major stops on the right side of the Strip, is fast and only $5 one way. Will use again in the future. Only way I would ever want to go past Wynn/Encore, walking a bad, bad option.
Rolled into SLS on a windy, cold day around 1p, walked around. Very meh. It's small, dark and has a very off sort of vibe. The ceiling has no tiles so the sound goes up there and dies, it's oddly quiet and almost dead feeling. No excitement at all. Gambled a bit there, had a not good drink at the center bar and decided to leave as I was not feeling it at all. Won't be back. So back on the monorail and stopped at the Harrah's stop to go to Venetian and check out Rock House again. This is a very contrived "dive bar" on the Strip, has no real identity (a mechanical bull in a "rock" bar?) but it does have one thing I like very much, which is a bartender named Scarlet. Total cutie, great style, personable and just generally cool. I fell in love with her last trip and seeing her again this time was one of the highlights of the trip.
Made my way then back down the Strip fighting the hordes of slow-moving Asian and Middle Eastern families; seriously I saw about 4 white people the whole trip. Also was mortified by a new trend there which is stopping in the middle of walkways to take selfies with "selfie sticks", a stick you blag your phone to so you can show all your idiot fiends on Twitter that you're in front of a fake Eiffel tower. Die.
After a stop at The Pub again, finally rolled in to the Times Square bar at NYNY fairly late that night, and here we go again. There was a single girl on the bar across from me (red flag), not really attractive but enough so that I couldn't totally ignore her. Finally after an hour or so of being extremely wary (with reason), I buy her a drink. She comes over, gets familiar. A full on no doubt hooker sits across from us. I mention this. We talk about her a bit and I mention in no uncertain terms that I DO NOT PAY FOR SEX. I have no such restriction, I just wanted to see if she'd walk away. She didn't. Hmmm.
So we close down Times Square and she wants more drinks. We go to Center Bar at NYNY. Drink and slag on the hookers and johns in there. She seems to know a LOT about who the hookers and johns are in there (run away, man, run away!). Still no outward indication that she doesn't want my dick for real, but she still wants to go get more drinks. It's like 4 in the morning at this point. Tell her we can go one other place then it's decision time, walk away or bone me (for the record ladies, she's grabbing and flashing me this entire time, it's clear she's not looking for roses and firelight snuggles). We hit a 24 hour bar at MGM. Drinks. Banter. Finally it's like 5:30. I have to check out of my room at MB in 5 1/2 hours. Yes or no time. She asks me to pay for it. I walk out.
By this time, and after the trip I've had, it's a matter of principle at that point. If she had been honest with me from the start she would have made some money that night. Instead she was a colossal waste of time. Vegas time.
Comes the final day. I get the alarm call at 10:45 and almost have a coronary. I'm SO hung over and tired and pissed at the female of the species, I had to fight to even GET to the bathroom, much less take a shower and pack up all my shit for the trek back down the Strip for my last night, back at Flamingo. Add to this the absolute THRONGS of fucking people all the way at mid day, I'm so pissed off and tired and sweaty by the time I crash into my room that I seriously consider just getting an early flight and getting out of there. My body, my shattered ego, my wasted brain just want to go home to my hobbit hole, eat Cheetos and whack off for 2 days.
I try to take a nap, no dice. Too much shit rolling around in my head. Get up and shower again around 4p. Decide to try to somehow rally and have this trip not completely suck. Figure by the time I get out to the Strip I'll have 10 hours left of Vegas time, as I need to be in bed by around 3a to not be The Walking Dead for my 10:30a flight (note to self, never schedule a flight out of Vegas that early again). Get back on the monorail to get to NYNY and cash in my big myVegas bonus, the $50 in bar credit at Times Square. This goes pretty well as the bar is fun, the piano guy is funny, and no fucking hookers latch on to me.
Spend the $50 and get pretty faded doing it, so I'm rallying a bit and decide to go to Gallagher's to get a steak. I went here last Xmas trip and the steak was good, not amazing but solid. This one is mind-blowing. I was literally rolling my eyes back in my head with every bite. Seriously one of the best steaks I've ever had. One of the highlights of the trip. Jumped into Nine Fine for a bit there then started making my way back down the Strip to be in position to crash by 3a. Stopped at Lily bar, so done with that place, every time I go in there I get treated like a leper. Guess not wearing Armani or coming in with a model means you're not worthy of One. Word. from the bartenders. Avoid it like the plague unless Hakkasan fires everyone in it.
Grab a couple of slices at 3a and crash out...4 days, 5 nights in Vegas done and dusted. On the plane and home by 12:30 Sunday.
This trip. Wow.
Don't know much else to say about it. I guess it gave me some clarity on some things. Where I place in the pecking order of the male/female dynamic, along with a healthy dislike of the female of the species at the moment. How when you're a single man in Vegas you're a target for two-bit scam artists and low-class hookers. How much I hate large masses of humanity all in one place. A lot of this was either avoidable or my fault, I guess.
There were some good bits though. Scarlet at Rock House. Dan and the gang at Vesper. Cesar at The Franklin, That...one girl upstairs bartending at Nine Fine with the crazy eyes but who was fun and kind. I did OK on cash, came back with $2K of $4.5K. I saw some sights that are going to be with me for a while. There were a couple times during the trip that I was saying to myself, "fuck this, I'm done with Vegas", but I know in a few days/weeks I'll be booking the room and flight again for March.
Cuz the psychology of the Vegas fiend is if this trip was shitty, the next one will be epic.
Can't call that one a good trip by any means, but it will be one that I remember, at least parts of it. Other parts I don't remember at all.
First night, flew in on plan, taxi'd over to Flamingo to check in. Got in/out of check in and up to my room in no time. Flamingo's "Deluxe" rooms are no Bellagio (nor even a NYNY) but it was relatively clean, modern (faux wood floors and all) and definitely a step up from the awful Harrah's room from last trip. Good center Strip view and oh, yeah, free.
Came down and hit some of the normal spots, Henry and Bond at the Cosmo, Rock House at Venetian then decided to check out the Bourbon Room in Venetian. Kinda cheesy, light crowd, 80's videos on a huge screen. Contrived. Was just going to have one there and mosey, but these two girls sit down on either side of me. Can immediately tell I'm being worked since the one in front of me is looking back at her friend behind me every 30 seconds. A tight crew this was not. But the one in front was reasonably hot (eh) and I was reasonably drunk so after a while I asked the "eh" hot one if she wanted a drink. So we start talking and decide to get out of there, and as soon as she gets up her chubby handler shows up and invites herself along. Red flag #2.
We all start walking down toward the Cosmo where they want to go and for some idiot reason I decide to invite them up to the room for a minute. I really didn't even think I was going to get laid and I was aware I was being worked so why I did this is beyond me. Anyway nothing really happens upstairs (so I think) and we come down and start off toward the Cosmo again which was the original plan. The "eh" hot one keeps acting "cold" and sticking her hands down my front pockets (in retrospect looking for loose bills) so idiot me offers her my jacket. I like this jacket.
So now the inevitable and obvious happens. They say they need to pee so we duck into some random resort, they go in to pee, I go in to pee, I come out of the bathroom, they don't. They are gone. With my jacket. And that's not all. I finish out the night thinking, OK, whatever, they got my $50 jacket, could have been worse, blah blah. I'm walking around the Strip in a light sweater in 40 degree temps but I have a beer blanket on so it doesn't really bother me. Get back to the room 4-ish and crash out.
I wake up the next morning in a haze and check my phone. Emails and calls from Capitol One. Are these charges legit? Is this $1400 charge legit? This one at Wal Mart? This one for gas? All over Vegas?
Yep, bitches got my credit card that was in my backpack that was in my bathroom that was in my Flamingo room.
In the end, all the charges will be reversed, I'll get a new card, all it cost me was some inconvenience (and a jacket. I liked that jacket) but man, was I molded the rest of that morning. Total bummer, crap start to a trip. So in a haze of anger and booze I make my way down to the Ross store to buy another goddamn jacket, and as it's a Ross the jacket is not what I had before and not nearly as warm. Gambled a bit at Monte Carlo with no luck.
Off then to check in to Mandalay. Get into the Gold Mlife line, breeze through, I'm happy to put the last night behind me and get a shower and start over. Then when I get up to me room the key doesn't work. No beep, nothing. So back down the elevator, back to the Gold line, get a different room (no upgrade for the inconvenience) and BACK up the elevator to the room that a key actually works in. The MB rooms are nice in a sort of generic way, not the best room I've had in Vegas but very solid. Well appointed, comfortable, easy to get in and out of. GREAT view of the entire Strip.
Probably should have taken a nap at this point but instead just jump in the shower and come down to check out the new Franklin bar at Delano. I'm the only guy in there. For hours. Just me and the personable bartender. Was fine, half the battle for me in a bar is having a personable, attentive bartender so it was worth the time. Then at 5p it was up to MiX to cash in my myVegas free appetizer and take in the view. Meh appetizer, awesome view.
Then did the usual making my way up to Cosmo and Bellagio, stopping at The Pub at MC to kill another myVegas reward, 2-1 beer flights. Was getting pretty well hammered by this point. Got to Lily bar at Bellagio too late so just closed out the night at the Vesper bar at Cosmo tying on more vodka and getting wrecked. Got back to the room late, destroyed and bruised, after falling down on the slippery sidewalk in a light rain. Fuck.
Xmas day, rolled over to MGM to go to TAP and had their excellent turkey sando. Tried to go back to the room to get a nap but couldn't really sleep, didn't leave the room til about 4p (after taking a bath, lovely) and hit up Franklin one more time then it was off to Stripsteak at MB. Sat at the bar, had a filet which was good but not mind-blowing. Service was pretty bad. Side of gourmet mac & cheese was really good. Everyone raves about the free duck fat fries here, they are...fries. Then slowly made my way up to Cosmopolitan again (surprise!) and spent the rest of the night drinking heavily. Spent time at Bond and Book and Stage, finished up at Vesper again then made my way back to my room, gambling all the way, and did really well. From the time I left Cosmo to the time I stumbled in to bed I had won at least $550 along the way. Had been getting my ass handed to me up to that point so that was nice.
Woke up the next morning fuzzy but determined to get up to see the new SLS on the far north end of the strip. Limped into MGM to grab lunch at PUB 1842, Never again. Annoying server and the fish and chips were tasteless. How do you fuck up fish and chips? Afterwards jumped on the Vegas monorail, really a pretty great system that I had never used before. Hits most of the major stops on the right side of the Strip, is fast and only $5 one way. Will use again in the future. Only way I would ever want to go past Wynn/Encore, walking a bad, bad option.
Rolled into SLS on a windy, cold day around 1p, walked around. Very meh. It's small, dark and has a very off sort of vibe. The ceiling has no tiles so the sound goes up there and dies, it's oddly quiet and almost dead feeling. No excitement at all. Gambled a bit there, had a not good drink at the center bar and decided to leave as I was not feeling it at all. Won't be back. So back on the monorail and stopped at the Harrah's stop to go to Venetian and check out Rock House again. This is a very contrived "dive bar" on the Strip, has no real identity (a mechanical bull in a "rock" bar?) but it does have one thing I like very much, which is a bartender named Scarlet. Total cutie, great style, personable and just generally cool. I fell in love with her last trip and seeing her again this time was one of the highlights of the trip.
Made my way then back down the Strip fighting the hordes of slow-moving Asian and Middle Eastern families; seriously I saw about 4 white people the whole trip. Also was mortified by a new trend there which is stopping in the middle of walkways to take selfies with "selfie sticks", a stick you blag your phone to so you can show all your idiot fiends on Twitter that you're in front of a fake Eiffel tower. Die.
After a stop at The Pub again, finally rolled in to the Times Square bar at NYNY fairly late that night, and here we go again. There was a single girl on the bar across from me (red flag), not really attractive but enough so that I couldn't totally ignore her. Finally after an hour or so of being extremely wary (with reason), I buy her a drink. She comes over, gets familiar. A full on no doubt hooker sits across from us. I mention this. We talk about her a bit and I mention in no uncertain terms that I DO NOT PAY FOR SEX. I have no such restriction, I just wanted to see if she'd walk away. She didn't. Hmmm.
So we close down Times Square and she wants more drinks. We go to Center Bar at NYNY. Drink and slag on the hookers and johns in there. She seems to know a LOT about who the hookers and johns are in there (run away, man, run away!). Still no outward indication that she doesn't want my dick for real, but she still wants to go get more drinks. It's like 4 in the morning at this point. Tell her we can go one other place then it's decision time, walk away or bone me (for the record ladies, she's grabbing and flashing me this entire time, it's clear she's not looking for roses and firelight snuggles). We hit a 24 hour bar at MGM. Drinks. Banter. Finally it's like 5:30. I have to check out of my room at MB in 5 1/2 hours. Yes or no time. She asks me to pay for it. I walk out.
By this time, and after the trip I've had, it's a matter of principle at that point. If she had been honest with me from the start she would have made some money that night. Instead she was a colossal waste of time. Vegas time.
Comes the final day. I get the alarm call at 10:45 and almost have a coronary. I'm SO hung over and tired and pissed at the female of the species, I had to fight to even GET to the bathroom, much less take a shower and pack up all my shit for the trek back down the Strip for my last night, back at Flamingo. Add to this the absolute THRONGS of fucking people all the way at mid day, I'm so pissed off and tired and sweaty by the time I crash into my room that I seriously consider just getting an early flight and getting out of there. My body, my shattered ego, my wasted brain just want to go home to my hobbit hole, eat Cheetos and whack off for 2 days.
I try to take a nap, no dice. Too much shit rolling around in my head. Get up and shower again around 4p. Decide to try to somehow rally and have this trip not completely suck. Figure by the time I get out to the Strip I'll have 10 hours left of Vegas time, as I need to be in bed by around 3a to not be The Walking Dead for my 10:30a flight (note to self, never schedule a flight out of Vegas that early again). Get back on the monorail to get to NYNY and cash in my big myVegas bonus, the $50 in bar credit at Times Square. This goes pretty well as the bar is fun, the piano guy is funny, and no fucking hookers latch on to me.
Spend the $50 and get pretty faded doing it, so I'm rallying a bit and decide to go to Gallagher's to get a steak. I went here last Xmas trip and the steak was good, not amazing but solid. This one is mind-blowing. I was literally rolling my eyes back in my head with every bite. Seriously one of the best steaks I've ever had. One of the highlights of the trip. Jumped into Nine Fine for a bit there then started making my way back down the Strip to be in position to crash by 3a. Stopped at Lily bar, so done with that place, every time I go in there I get treated like a leper. Guess not wearing Armani or coming in with a model means you're not worthy of One. Word. from the bartenders. Avoid it like the plague unless Hakkasan fires everyone in it.
Grab a couple of slices at 3a and crash out...4 days, 5 nights in Vegas done and dusted. On the plane and home by 12:30 Sunday.
This trip. Wow.
Don't know much else to say about it. I guess it gave me some clarity on some things. Where I place in the pecking order of the male/female dynamic, along with a healthy dislike of the female of the species at the moment. How when you're a single man in Vegas you're a target for two-bit scam artists and low-class hookers. How much I hate large masses of humanity all in one place. A lot of this was either avoidable or my fault, I guess.
There were some good bits though. Scarlet at Rock House. Dan and the gang at Vesper. Cesar at The Franklin, That...one girl upstairs bartending at Nine Fine with the crazy eyes but who was fun and kind. I did OK on cash, came back with $2K of $4.5K. I saw some sights that are going to be with me for a while. There were a couple times during the trip that I was saying to myself, "fuck this, I'm done with Vegas", but I know in a few days/weeks I'll be booking the room and flight again for March.
Cuz the psychology of the Vegas fiend is if this trip was shitty, the next one will be epic.
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