Solitude.

The calendar rolls on and we close down to just over a month from Xmas-Vegas-O-Rama.

The Xmas week is always generally my favorite trip of the year. Why is that? It dawns on me that one major reason may be one of the things I constantly decry on these trips.

Solitude.

You're never truly alone on a trip to Vegas, even on the slowest days of the year there are still tens of thousands of tourists and resort staff all over the strip, all busily trying to have their "What Happens..." trip or just putting up with us to be making enough to pay the damn rent. But the density of those throngs (maybe half of what would be there during NYE?) is far less during the holiday week, and for an introvert and shy individual like myself, it's a lot like heaven.

I've never liked big crowds or crowded rooms. Even when I go out on weekends here in the City I try to seek out the mellow, uncrowded spots in town and will move on from even my most favorite spots if they start to get crowded. I'm not anti-social per se, I do interact with the natives and the bartenders and like that part of going out (otherwise what's the point, might as well stay home and get drunk), but I don't like shoulder to shoulder, loud, annoying rooms full of idiots.

When I look back on a lot of my post mortems and see that in many cases I list a negative of the trip as having been "invisible" or ignored at a bar or restaurant, I think I may be missing my own boat, the boat I've carefully floated to distance myself from most people. I live my whole life distancing myself from people, by choice, why should I want anything different when I'm on vacation? When it comes down to it...I don't like people, for the most part.

I honestly relish walking into a scene like my pic above - glorious emptiness and the ability to be as social or unsocial as I choose. Feeling "lonely"? Chat up the bartender or a nearby patron. Feeling like "fuck all of you, leave me alone"? FUCK ALL OF YOU, LEAVE ME ALONE...and I do an exceedingly good job of making that clear to all around me when that's my mood. There's nothing wrong with either, and Vegas gives you the option to do either.

So I think it's time for a mental shift. It's time to embrace the solitude. It's fine to sit alone in a bar during Xmas week because either the bar is empty or because I chose that bar specifically to be away from people. It's also fine to have a long conversation with just the bartender or just one random person at the bar, or it's fine also to ignore the fuck out of any attempt by that person to engage me. Hell, even busy and crowded can be fun too if it's in the right environment and in small doses. It's all good.

It's ironic to think that going to Vegas can be a source of relaxation and solitude, but it is possible, more so during the holiday season and maybe that's really why I love the Xmas trip every year so much.

32 days.