Expectations.

I think I'm over my Vegas hangover.

All one of you (thanks!) who reads this sad little blog know that I've been of two minds about Vegas in the last year or so. I look forward to and on some levels enjoy the quarterly trips, but also lament the enormous sums of money, time and mental effort that I put into them.

I save up $12K a year for these little excursions. Not a petite sum if you were to see my total yearly take-home, and not including flights and hotel overhead. I play myVegas daily trying to rack up a steak or show or two, taking an average of around an hour a day. I spend time on this well read blog. I put time and effort into planning "the perfect trip", which has yet to work.

In the past, in exchange for all this time and effort, I've for some reason been expecting to have the mythical "What Stays In Vegas" trip, that on its last day will leave me naked, broke, covered in hooker hickies and with a small mammal lodged in my ass. At long last, and like a very stupid Pavlovian dog, though, I've come to a realization.

That shit ain't going to happen. And I'm OK with that.

In 2 1/2 weeks I will be beginning my 17th trip in Vegas. In all those trips there have been no "Hangover" trips, no pants-around-my-ankles ragers, no threeways with Swedish stewardesses. I'm too reserved of a person to find myself in any of those situations, even when blind drunk. When I'm at the threshold of either getting crazy and pushing through tiredness to go into blackout stage and maybe ending up with an entertaining ride to a Vegas gutter, I will always choose the path of getting a Gatorade and a sandwich and going up to my room to sleep. And I'm OK with that.

I realize that now, based on my past 16 trips, the following will happen. On the 31st of August through the 4th of September in Vegas, I will arrive, check into a modest room at a modest resort, gamble moderately and lose a manageable amount, drink heavily but never to blacked out excess, and will have a few pleasant, superficial social interactions while for the most part spending my time alone. I will eat well but not extravagantly, will dress sharply but in no way to impress, and will fly in and out of town on a budget plane flight. And I'm OK with that.

And then, 4 days later, I will arrive home, tired but relaxed, with a couple moderately interesting stories to tell, and when people ask me how my trip was I will say "fine".

And it will have been fine.

And then within a few days of getting home I will begin spending for, planning, saving for and obsessing about my next trip which will be over Xmas, because this is what I do now.

And finally, I'm kinda OK with that.